OMG

My baby is going to go to Kindergarten next year. I can hardly believe it. The school had kindergarten registration this morning, and I was almost emotional about it. I got a little bit teary-eyed filling out the paperwork. Dumb. Anyway, I took Morgan to school today (Kory usually takes her) since I had to go to Kindergarten registration, and she took ice cream sandwiches for her birthday treats. She wanted to listen to her new Hannah Montana cd I bought her for an early birthday present. It is actually a pretty good cd. Anyway, we were listening to "The Climb". I really love that song. It really strikes a chord with me, no matter how trite that statement sounds. Here are some of the words:

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
There's always gonna be an uphill battle.
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
It doesn't matter how fast I get there.
It doesn't matter what's waitin' on the other side.
It's the climb.

So true, so true. So here's a little mountain--me sending my Syd to Kindergarten and hoping she isn't scared--but Morgan made it through. And Syd has Morgan and her best friend Maycee to lean on, so I'm sure she'll do just fine. She's got enough spunk in her. Not as much as her cousin Kate, but none-the-less she's got spunk.

Keep climbing, Keep the faith.

"I Love My Husband"

I saw this bumper sticker on a mini-van the other night when I was taking Syd to gymnastics. I wondered what the heck it meant. I mean, I love my husband too, but I'm not going to put it as a bumper sticker on my car! Did she put it on there instead of saying, "I love my Golden Retriever" or "I love my Ferret"? I just don't get it.

Another thing I don't get are people that say, "I love you" all the time to their spouses or significant others every time they talk to them on the phone. So the more you say it means that you mean it more? To me it seems that the more it is said, the less it means.

Amazing what kind of thoughts a dumb bumper sticker evokes.

Tomorrow is April 1st. . .

. . . and that has great significance to me, because I made it through today. I did not think I could make it to this day let alone through this day because of everything I HAD to get done today, but I'm here, and I made it through, and I got everything done that I could possibly get done. I am so relieved! The mind is a funny thing--mine is my own worst enemy. The stress I put myself through because of my anxiety is indescribable. Not only did I make it through this day, but the day itself was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated it to be. I think I do that to myself so that my expectations are really low--then when my expectations are exceeded, things are good. It's the torture that comes with worrying about it. I hate that I worry. I don't want to be that way. My problems are nothing compared to some. It's dumb and wasted energy.

Now I just need to move on to the next hurdle. Look out, here I go!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Wow--it has literally been a busy week or two since I last posted. I have found I am really a home-body and don't wish to go anywhere once I get home, but unfortunately I don't have that luxury. Luckily, my girls only have gymnastics twice a week. I don't know how these parents do it that have to take their kids to baseball practice every night, or therapy most days of the week.

I have felt a strain on my relationships lately because I have been so busy, and I hope some of it is just me--I hope my family hasn't noticed the strain. I really feel pulled in so many directions, and I know I put the stress on myself, but I really hate that feeling. No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, and I know there are so many out there who have it so much worse than me. I'm not complaining, just concerned that my actions, busy-ness and words might hurt the people around me.

I think the worst thing you can do in times like these is to isolate yourself, and I sometimes have a tendency to do that. . . so I'm trying my best!

History

I was going through some of my dad's old movies tonight. It is so, um, surreal maybe is the right word, to see his handwriting and look at some of the things he filmed. There are notes on most of the reels that say funny thinks like "Pole Climbers" and "Katie walking into Trailer" or "Rob with sucker". Some are funny, like "Brad sticking out tongue" or "Brad teasing Katie", and some are serious like "Grandpa Cole's Funeral". Then there is a historic one that says, "Kennedy at Fairgrounds" which gives me the chills just reading it and typing it. They start in 1954 and go up to 1979. There are even two reels of film that are empty. I would love to see if there was a way I could film the girls on those, but I have no idea if anybody would even be able to develop those. Some of the films are in tin canisters labeled either Wards orKasper's Photo Shop. Most of them are in small boxes, about 3" by 3", with postmarks from Chicago, New York or Hollywood, California.

If you think about it, there might only be one major historic film included in this box of memories, but in a way all of it is history. It's all the history of my family, seen mostly through my father's eyes, which makes it all that much more valuable to me.

Sensational Kids

Sydney had a doctor's appointment today--another follow-up for the weird warts she has. They are starting to get better--they have spread some, but even the new ones are starting to look dried up, so that was all good. She also has a boil on her arm, for which the doctor prescribed an antibiotic cream. She has had it almost 3 weeks I would guess. It got really big, but it has shrunk and now has a scab on it, which is good. I also spoke with the doctor about Sydney's "sensory" issues. I have always noticed that Sydney has certain sensitivities-mainly with noise and touch (socks and jeans issue). The doctor said (and Marlene had already told me this) that Sydney probably has some hypersensitivity to noise and touch, and recommended I read a book called "Sensational Kids". She said her daughter has a lot of the same issues, and they ended up doing an Occupational Therapy evaluation, and she sees an OT for her sensory issues. She told me after I read the book to talk to her and let her know what specific 'symptoms' Sydney demonstrates, and then we can go from there. She said the sad thing is she didn't learn anything about this in medical school--it all came about from the research she has done after seeing her own daughter have melt-downs and issues with senses--mainly auditory. She said she has a few children in her practice that have this. She also said we are catching it at the perfect time--where we can help her before she starts school.

Thank you Marlene for helping me to understand this, and thank you Dr. Heidi for being such a great doctor. I am very blessed.

Sad Day

Mom called this afternoon to say that my brother-in-law's mother Phyllis passed away. We've known for weeks it was coming, but it still made me cry--made me sad. I am sad for Ryan who has such a big heart and is such a softie. This will hit him hard. I am sad for Sarah because she and Phyllis spent a lot of time together and had a special relationship. I am sad for Roger who now has no parents left on this earth. I am sad for the whole family and am keeping them in my thoughts and prayers, as trite as that sounds.

Take care Kern family--I love you--let me know what I can do to help.

Happy Birthday Sydney!

Five years ago today, I was in my hospital room holding my brand-new baby girl. It was snowing a lot like it did today, and my sister came to stay with me--even though she was spending time with her friends scrapbooking. Kory had gone home with Morgan. I remember we dressed Sydney all up in one of her new outfits, and the really sweet nurse took her out of my room so I could get some rest, and she got a really cute picture of Sydney. On the way home from the hospital, I remember Morgan saying, "Good thing she wasn't a boy, or we would have had to leave him at the hospital!" Wow that doesn't seem like all that long ago, and then again it does. . .now she's my little 5 year old that can't wait to go to kindergarten!

Happy Birthday my dear little girl! I love you so much!!

Interview with God

This was sent to me by a friend and former co-worker--so great for a Friday!!

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Cold is a Relative Thing. . .

I just got this e-mail from a lady I work with. I love it! Enjoy!

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . ..

65 above: Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Montana plant gardens.

60 above: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Montana sunbathe.

50 above: Italian & English carswon't start.
People in Montana drive with the windows down.

40 above: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, woolhats.
People in Montana throw on a flannelshirt.

35 above : New York landlords finally turn upthe heat.
People in Montana have the last cookout before it getscold.

20 above: People in Miami all die.
Montanans close the windows.

Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico ..
People in Montana get out their winter coats.

10 below: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Montana are selling cookies door to door.

20 below: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Montana let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below: Santa Claus abandons the NorthPole.
Montanans get upset because their Snow-mobiles are hard to start.

40 below: ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Montana start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below: Hell freezes over.
Montana public schools will open 2 hours late.