Christmas is over. . .

Honestly I am not a fan of cleaning, but it feels good to get something done! Kory's niece is here to watch the girls this week since there's no day care or Boys and Girls club at school, so I HAD to get the spare bedroom cleaned for her so she could actually have a bed to sleep on and some space in the closet. Well a few hours later and a few (okay 7) bags of clothes, I got it cleaned--I have 4 bags of little girl clothes in there waiting to give to my niece Katelyn--yikes! I threw away some old clothes of mine--and some of the girls' old clothes that were stained or just worn out. That felt good! Now if I can just get to working on the 'being organized' thing!

The girls are VERY excited to have Heather here. They think she's pretty cool, and she is really good with them--and she's kicking all of our butts at Guitar Hero!! LOL. . .

Kory's parents got me a cool thing (because I can't think of another word to describe it) that converts 35mm negatives into 5 megapixel digital files--I don't even need to hook it up to my computer--it will store them on a little SD memory card. Yayy! That's a huge project though. I have a TON of negatives. But it will be nice to have those all converted. I'm excited to get started on it.

The girls had a great Christmas. I got up at 7:30 thinking I could sneak downstairs and get the video camera set up and started before they woke up. . . well, thanks to Zoe who has to shake first thing in the morning and wake everybody up, Sydney woke up. So I told her to stay upstairs because I wanted to get their reactions on the video. . . well then Morgan was up, so I had to tell them to go wake up their dad. So, I got it going and let them come downstairs. They were soooo excited! I will have to post a clip of the video. I haven't even watched it yet, but I bet it's cute. Morgan ripped through her presents really quickly, but Syd took her time wanting to play with things as she got them opened. Pretty sweet. Santa left a note, drank the milk, ate the cookies and fed the carrots to his reindeer. He even left a few of the crumbs on the plate.

Well tonight there was rain mixed with snow when I left the grocery store--and lots of wind. I got drenched trying to load the groceries into the car and put the shopping cart away. Ugh. Tomorrow morning should be fun on the roads.

Sydney's Christmas Program

Here is Sydney and some of her little friends singing "Silent Night" at their preschool Christmas program. . . they are doing sign language to it as well! So cute. . .

Morgan's Christmas Program

Here is a video from Morgan's Christmas Program at school. The song is called "Santa Needs a Vacation". . . Enjoy!

Only Three More Days Until Christmas!

That is what my girls have said over and over tonight. They say it with enthusiasm, I say it with dread. Dread because I'm not sure I am done with my shopping. Dread because every time I turn around I think of another person I forgot to send a Christmas card to. Dread because I still haven't gone grocery shopping for whatever it is I am going to make to take to my sister's on Christmas. Dread because it's cold and snowing. Dread because tomorrow is Syd's Christmas program, and I'm worried she will throw a fit in the morning because her dress will be too itchy or her socks will be bugging her. Dread because I still don't know why I'm having these terrible pains in my back even after having a CT scan to check for kidney stones. Dread because I'm not sure I have enough work done before I take a few days off. Oh I could go on and on--well I guess I already did. But, that's not how I want to feel right now. . . I want to get back that feeling I had when I was little and it seemed like FOREVER until Christmas got here. . .

So, I will put a more positive spin on things. . . I'm excited to see the girls' faces and hear their (hopefully!) squeals Thursday morning when they open their presents. I'm excited that the stress of the holiday will be over by then. I'm excited to open my own presents--yes I'm like a little kid as well--I can't stand not knowing what's in those boxes under the Christmas tree. I'm excited to go to Syd's program and have some time off of work. I'm excited that Christmas dinner is not at my house.

Pretty sad I can come up with more items of dread than excitement huh? Does that tell you what kind of frame of mind I am in? I will try tomorrow to be more positive. . . because then it will only be TWO more days until Christmas, and I will have even less time to know if I have the same number of presents for the girls. . . oh goodness here I go again. I'm going to bed and not going to think about this stuff!!!

Dress a Child

A friend of mine at work sent out an e-mail the other day needing some Santa's Helpers to meet at the local K-Mart to help with Dress a Child. I thought about it, put the e-mail aside, and thought I would wait until the following morning to give myself time to think about it. Well, I decided that I should do it. The only reason I didn't want to do it is because it is so easy to sit back and not think about the children in this world who don't have very much. Most days I enjoy living in denial. I decided I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone and just go--yes I would have to miss sleeping in on Saturday to be at the local K-Mart at 7 a.m., but it was the least I could do. So, I got up early this morning and headed to K-Mart while the rest of the family slept. My friend Susan had parked right next to me, so we walked in together, found where we needed to be, and I got my name tag and waited for my child. I got a little boy named Tarig who was 10--totally outside of my comfort zone! I haven't been around 10 year-old boys for 8 years (since my twin nephews were 10)! Okay--away we go. We got our list, and I had heard that the shoe aisle was the craziest, so we got our shopping cart and headed straight to the shoe aisle to get that part overwith. Tarig was cute--light brown curly hair--kinda shaggy like the boys wear it these days (doesn't that make me sound old?) but cute. I could tell he was trying to be 'cool'. He wasn't very talkative at first, so I tried to joke around a little bit to lighten things up. He found some cool shoes that he liked, so we headed to the boys clothes--I had no idea where that was since I have no boys, so I had to ask somebody--and off we went. We found a shirt that came with a cool stocking hat, then we found some jeans that he liked because the belt was cool--then we went back to the shoes because we forgot snow boots--found those, then back to the boys section because he needed a coat. Oops! Okay so I'm new at this. We couldn't find a coat that he liked, and luckily his mom was nearby and said he was really picky about coats and didn't like them to be very thick. Well luckily we found a really nice black wool coat with quilted lining, and when he put it on, it looked so nice on him--I told him he looked handsome--his mom asked him if he wanted to check it out in the mirror first, and he said no, pointed at me, and said "she said it looked good, so I don't need a mirror". Too cute! Then he needed some underwear, and I felt so bad for him because I could tell he was a little embarrassed--I would have been when I was little shopping with a complete stranger for underwear! But, we found some, then found some under-shirts--tank tops--then some gloves. Then I found out that we could go over the $100 limit as long as we were okay with paying the extra, so we went back and got a few more t-shirts and then stood in line waiting to check out. I told him he could go stand by his mom if he wanted to, but he said he wanted to stay in line with me. Oh how sweet. We chatted about Britney Spears and how much he didn't like her and her fake hair (his words). We were in line for quite a while, chatting it up. We got all done, took him to where his mom and siblings were standing (his siblings and cousins got to shop as well), and his mom told him to give me a hug--oh boy that has got to be one of the best hugs ever. He squeezed me so tight--I nearly cried. His mom had tears in her eyes most of the morning. For trying to be so 'cool', he really warmed up to me and made my whole day--my whole holiday really. I will do this again in a heartbeat, no matter how hectic and crazy, this shows me what Christmas is all about. I usually pick and angel off one of the trees and buy gifts, but I have to admit it's much more fun interacting with a child and letting them pick out the clothes they want. I wish I would have gone back and bought him more things, but I was so caught up in the moment that I wasn't even thinking. I think I'll call his school and see if it's okay to deliver some packages for him there.

Thank you to my dear friend Susan for giving me this opportunity. You can sign me up for next year!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Ah yes, the smell of giblets cooking on the stove. . . I had that today. . . with my mom. She came over to help me get the turkeys ready for tomorrow and get the giblets cooked and ready for the stuffing. She did that last year too--I still have so much to learn! The cooking is the easy part--of course our three turkeys were still partway frozen, but that was okay. We are frying 2 and baking one so that we can still have gravy and good dressing that soaks up all the fat while it's cooking inside the turkey--oh and leftovers for everybody because there is nothing like Thanksgiving leftovers. My whole family will be over--all 18 of us (I had to sit here and count that on my fingers as I can never remember how many of us there is!). I still have my sausage dressing to make tonight--I'll bake that tomorrow. Then there's the 10 pounds of potatoes to peel. I have to find the little knife my Grandma Liz gave me a long time ago--it's the best potato peeling knife I have and one of my favorite things she gave me--probably because it was brand new when she gave it to me, and my sisters both got something from the second hand store that Christmas (tee hee). All in all it will be a fun day with lots of noise and activity. Yayy!!! Happy Thanksgiving to Everybody!!!!!!

Morgan's Gymnastics Meet

U.S.A. is a Free Country

Morgan (8) was given an assignment today in class. The students were to write a letter to somebody they knew who had been in a war. Morgan asked if the person could be dead, and the teacher said no. So, Morgan wrote a letter to Callie that taught her preschool and is now Syd's preschool teacher. The letters were to go in a box. She then decided she was going to write a letter to her Grandpa Ed, my dad, and bring it home to put on his grave. She drew an American flag at the top of the letter with the words "U.S.A. is a Free Country" written on the flag. The letter says:

Dear Papa Ed,
My name is Morgan and I am 8 years old and a third grader at Lockwood School. My little sister is Sydney and at age 4, and only a preschooler. It is the year 2008 and we all really miss you, but thank you for fighting in the war and trying to earn us a free country. I really wanted to see you. We just had election against McCain and Obama. Who would you vote for?

Love,

Morgan

How sweet is that? She even drew hearts by her name. When she came home she told me the story. I told her we could certainly go visit Papa Ed's grave, and then I said she's not supposed to make me cry when she gets home from school. . .

She really knows how to touch my heart. . .

Alone

I just had lunch with my mom. I always feel so sad leaving her--I want to bring her to work with me so she is not alone. I know she has grown "accustomed" to living alone, but I know at times "accustomed" does not mean "content". I think at times she is content, but I think lately it's been less often. She told me the other day that she has been really down lately. The cancer, surgery and treatment have been really hard on her, as they would be on anybody, but moreso because she goes home alone. She really misses Dad. Yesterday was Veterans' Day, and she said she cried a few times during the ceremony at the cemetery.

I am a fixer. I want to be able to 'fix' things or situations. Maybe it's a control thing for me, I don't know. How do you 'fix' loneliness when somebody's spouse of almost 50 years is gone, when the person you've lived with everyday since you were 18 years old is no longer there? There is no fix. I know that, but I don't believe it. I want to fix it, but I can't. The only thing I can do is talk to her every day on the phone, try to spend some time with her and make sure I am here for her. Besides, I can't replace what was once there and is now gone, but I can do what I am already doing and what my brother and sisters are doing, and that's be here for her.

One more Halloween post

So here's me on Halloween. . . at least I was KINDA in the spirit!!