Organization/Organizing/Organized. . . whatever

I was reading my sister's and cousin's cool blogs trying to think of something to write about. I could not get my thoughts organized. I had their blogs stuck in my head. My sister writes about something she holds very near and dear to her heart. It affects her whole life every day, and her words are profound. My cousin writes about her photography, which is an amazing talent, and the words she uses to describe the photographs are passionate and have so much heart. I sit here, logged into my blog, trying to organize my thoughts, and I am critical of myself as I don't have the talents they have. Their blogs have a purpose, a meaning. Mine is a bunch of gobbledy-gook that I type when I feel like it. "BUT," I say to myself, "It's MY gobbledy-gook, so OWN IT!" It's at this point that I happen to look up at the hanging light above my table--gross--I can see bugs in it. The kitchen table I am sitting at has glue and tape and school papers from Morgan's school project, along with catalogs and mail, and Morgan's new American Girl doll. Errr--it frustrates me, as just last weekend I had the table completely cleared and I cleaned and shined it all up. "A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place." That is DEFINITELY NOT the quote that describes this household. Now that my thoughts are organized because of my frustration, maybe I can actually write something interesting like the other blogs I read. . . or not. . .

I told myself today I was going to do some organizing. Whether I get very much done doesn't matter--just do something I tell myself. Instead, I got on the computer. Bad idea. Then I don't want to get off. You see, I'm overwhelmed by all the organizing I need to do. Believe me, I have had the best of intentions for YEARS (I'm ashamed to say how many years). Because I have so much to do, I set my goals too high. So, today, my goal is not high--anything I get done will help me feel good about it. In the past, I would buy all these cool plastic organization thingies--boxes, shelving units, etc, etc, and I would have all the cool 'stuff' to get it done, and I would start, and get overwhelmed, and then I would quit and be disappointed because I didn't reach my unobtainable goal of getting everything done in one day, weekend, month, etc. and to top it all off I have wasted money on "thingies". More disappointment. I love watching the shows on TV like Clean Sweep where a whole team comes in and makes you go through your stuff and either keep, toss or sell things. Then the team re-does 2 rooms and magically transforms them and organizes your stuff. I think to myself, "Hey I could do that!" (Who do I think I am, "Magic Organizer Woman" with no kids and nothing to do? More like "Delusional Woman".) You see, I am really good at setting myself up for failure. Granted, it's not life threatening, and I won't lose my job over it or my family, but it does take me down a few notches, and I get upset, frustrated, depressed, you name it. Dumb huh? Plus, there's this other issue, of which I get REALLY cranky about--I can go about organizing and do a great job and feel good about myself, but there are 3 other people in this household who don't feel the accomplishment about it like I do, and quite frankly they don't really care about my organizing. They have other priorities. So, when I get things organized, they very quickly (and maddeningly--to me) undo everything I've completed in a matter of days. I'm not saying it's intentional, but they just don't really think about it. When I went through and organized the toy room, I put labels on the cool clear plastic drawer sets that were in there so they knew that one drawer was for Polly Pockets, one drawer was for Barbie's and Bratz dolls and the other drawer was for their clothes. Well, you should see it now. Most everything has been thrown into bins, and forget about trying to find something down there. I guess at least it's picked up, right? But, I feel that all my hard work was just washed down the drain. Why organize? That's the attitude I have after leaving that room trying to find something. And then I'm cranky.

So, I've decided, in this moment, this day, the best I can do is try to keep MY own stuff organized and not sweat about the stuff over which I have no control. How's that for a New Year's Resolution? Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure yet again. . . .

P.S. Please note the sarcasm in this post--it's not all serious! Some of it is meant to be humorous. I came back and re-read and thought it sounded kinda, well really, negative, and that is not my intention. :-)